Insight on Conflict

September 2, 2014

What is conflict exactly? Merriam-Webster defines conflict as:
: a struggle for power, property, etc.
: strong disagreement between people, groups, etc., that results in often angry argument
: a difference that prevents agreement : disagreement between ideas, feelings, etc.

As the wise Terry Goodkind said, "knowing when to fight is just as important as knowing how." I have made it a life goal to actively avoid conflict. I know what you're thinking. An ex-lawyer who actively avoids conflict? Yup. I am a strong believer that you don't have to seek out, create, or engage in conflict to be a successful advocate in any realm.

There are plenty of opportunities in any relationship for conflict to arise. I've encountered my fair share of disagreements in both my personal life and professional life. And in those situations, when one or both parties feels threatened or compromised, it's easy for things to turn into a conflict. That said, allowing a disagreement to turn into a conflict is a conscious choice. I'm not saying that we should all be push-overs. I think it's important to advocate for positions that one believes in. Some may see this as conflict, but it doesn't have to be. In instances where conflict cannot be avoided, it's important that both parties keep a cool head and make an effort to clearly articulate their position so that the conflict doesn't turn into a one-sided attack. Engaging in conflict in an aggressive manner doesn't lend itself to a solution or compromise, which should always be the end-goal.